Feeling Useless

OM International

The neighbourhood was empty and I went wandering along one of the main streets. At one point two black women passed in front of me, and one looked at me with a huge smile on her face. Then they went off on their way. Alone again, I started praying. That evening, I told God that I wasn’t happy with my spiritual life. Why wasn’t I able to live more fully for Him? Was I of any use in His kingdom? Rather than feeling like some kind of “super missionary,” I felt like a failure.

All of a sudden, I heard rapid footsteps behind me. Who could I possibly meet, at this time of the evening, when it was dark and our city was so small? It was none other than the smiling woman. I don’t remember exactly how we started talking, but for the next twenty minutes, we had a conversation that was not only unexpected, but very deep. Amondine* is from Madagascar. She had been out walking her friend back home, which isn’t far from the OM house. A Muslim, this lady told me of the loss of one of her children who was stillborn and how this event had changed her life. “I have a lot of doubts,” she told me. “Of course, at some level I still do believe in God…But if He’s really there, why is there so much suffering in the world?”

This young woman was full of questions. While we walked, I spoke to her of a God who had also suffered and I shared how He played an important role in my life. At the point when she was about to head home, we were discussing the Bible. There was a Bible in my pocket! Fortunately, I hadn’t left it behind at the house. I showed the little book to Amondine and she was very touched by my wanting to give it to her. Then I suggested she start by reading the book of John or the Psalms. But she looked at me and said, “No. I’m going to read the whole book! It’s no coincidence that we met tonight.” Afterwards, this young Muslim woman went off and I returned home, amazed by our God, who uses us in such incredible and surprising ways and who answers our prayers, even when we feel like we’re useless.

But that isn’t the end of the story! Two or three months later I was again walking around my city. Deep in thought, I didn’t realize there were two women behind me until I heard my name being called! After several minutes of talking together, Amondine went home and I stayed talking to her friend Marie* who is also Muslim. “So it was you whom Amondine met in the street,” she said. “The book that you gave her she passed on to me afterwards!” Then Marie explained to me that she hadn’t understood it very well and she was having trouble reading it. She gave me her phone number so I could come over and help her with her French.

But when were we likely to see each other again? God surprised me yet again. One day, after having gone into Paris, I missed the train that was heading back to my town. As I was thinking about taking another train using an alternate route, I had a strong sense that God was saying to me: “Take the train which goes straight back home. You’re going to meet someone again.” So I waited. But when I got on the train, I didn’t see anyone I knew and I thought that it probably wasn’t the Holy Spirit speaking, but just one of my own ideas. I had almost arrived at home when I suddenly stopped for no apparent reason. There lit up by the sun in front of the supermarket, two black ladies were talking…

Now I regularly go to Marie’s home to help her with reading and writing, or to tell her Bible stories and to spend time with her two children. I’ve met the whole family and we’ve had some good times together. Let’s pray together…..

- that God will continue to speak to Amondine

- that Marie sees in the Christians she meets that Jesus gives us a life of quality

- that I am able to find someone who can continue the literacy classes with her after my year as a “Global Actioner” is over

*names changed

Credit: OM International
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